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How to have perfect timing and make decisions that are aligned with who you really are!

Tom Stone

We are pioneering a revolutionary new form of coaching called Core Dynamics Coaching. In Core Dynamics Coach Training we teach some things that are a bit out of the box, that is, different from most conventional coaching approaches. In Core Dynamics Coach Training we teach coaches how to help clients learn the distinction between Thinking and Knowing. In order to get this distinction it is necessary to help your client have a new range of experiences that assists them in truly getting the difference between intellectually understanding something vs. knowing things through directly and fully experiencing them.

For example, one of the most common things that people want from coaching is to accomplish something that they have been having difficulty in doing. Whether it is starting a new business, finding the perfect mate, writing a book, buying a house, or deciding to change careers, people are often looking for help in being able to make decisions that are important to them in their lives. They want to make decisions for their life and take actions based on those decisions that are going to lead them to the fulfillment of their desires or dreams.

Conventional coaching often involves helping people to clarify what it is that they really want, then helping them to make a plan to get it and then keeping them accountable for accomplishing the goal. This is good but sometimes there is an enormous expenditure of energy on the client’s part to overcome obstacles and “make it happen.”

Is there an even better way? Perhaps there is. If we want to know how to best have something happen in our life, why not take a look at how nature operates and see how the universe makes things happen. Interestingly enough, one of the primary principles in nature doesn’t have anything to do with setting goals and then making it happen. It is instead a natural phenomenon that physicists call the law of least action. The principle of least action is what is operating throughout nature. It is used to govern the rotation of the planets around the sun and the rotation of the stars around the galaxy. It is what is used when plants synthesis sunlight, water and nutrients into the fibers of the plant itself. It is the principle that insures that everything in nature gets done with the least expenditure of energy, with maximum efficiency. What would it be like if there were a way to coach people in such a way that they could get aligned with the awesome power of the principle of least action in nature? We’ll there is.

Get ready because this is not going to be what you are used to! The principle that you can teach people (and by the way it might be a good idea to get good at this yourself) is… to wait for clarity. What? Wait for clarity? What do you mean by that? We’ll if you’ll just wait for a moment for clarity, I’ll make it clear.

We are heavily conditioned to think that the best way to operate in the world is to “just do it.” Action is king. Taking action is thought to be an important ingredient in the process of manifesting your desires. Certainly action is good, but well placed, well timed action is infinitely superior to just taking action out of a feeling of pressure or desperateness or need or longing for a particular result. We take well timed actions all the time. When you stop at a red traffic light it’s a well timed action. Running the light might not be so well timed particularly if other cars are coming where you are crossing. If you think about it driving is a great example, we have to have quite perfect timing in driving on freeways, just changing lanes for example requires perfect timing if there’s a lot of traffic.

But how often have you seen it in your client’s lives, or your life for that matter, that you get the idea to do something and jump into it impulsively only to have it end in frustration or bitterness. Why is this so common? It’s because people are trying to force the world to bend to their will and the laws of nature don’t tend to cooperate with that. This is because it is violating the law of least action.

Here’s an example. You’re single and you’d like to find a romantic partner. You meet someone and there’s some real juice in the beginning. So you move in together after a few dates (or worse you decide to get married) only to discover that 6 months into the relationship you are miserable and kicking yourself for making a commitment before you really knew who this person was after all. Ever done that? Most of us have and some keep doing it over and over again.

Not convinced yet? Here’s another example - Think about making a large purchase. Have you ever made a big buying decision and then really regretted it? Did you let the sales person make you feel like you just had to decide right now or the opportunity would be gone even when something inside you was saying not to do it?

Let’s face it; we are conditioned to be impulsive. But impulsivity gets us into trouble just about every time because it is violating a law of nature. “The idea of waiting though, it seems so counter-intuitive,” you might say.  Actually, it is counter-conditioning. We are taught that being spontaneous is a good thing. And it very well can be but most people don’t know the distinction between spontaneity and impulsiveness. Spontaneity has a simple naturalness to it. There is no “charge” or pressure to make a decision. It’s just a kind of knowing that something is right for you. Impulsivity on the other hand has an emotional charge to it. “I can’t wait to do this!!!” “It’s going to be great!” Usually there is an element of desperateness in it as in jumping into that relationship with the wrong person just because you wanted to be in a relationship so badly. Or the regret about buying that stock that tanked or the house or car that turned out to be a disaster.

“OK, OK, so I get it. It’s better to wait. Tell me about this waiting thing. What does it mean to wait for clarity (our trainee or client says a bit reluctantly)?” “How do I know when I’ve reached this “clarity” place?”

Developing a whole new style of operating where you consciously choose to align with nature’s principle of least action in your life involves three things.

If you fear that waiting will be uncomfortable, or that you might miss out on something, sometimes it is and sometimes you will. But the discomforts that you go through while waiting are the very things that you need to experience in order to get to the place of clarity about your decision. And think about some of those things that you were afraid that you would miss out on and then they turned out to not be what you wanted after all. 

Waiting isn’t always uncomfortable. For example, everyone I’ve asked about it has had one or more experiences that they can remember of having a desire for something, forgetting about it and not doing anything to fulfill that desire, and then all of a sudden, at a certain point, the fulfillment of your desire just showed up! If you think about it, you will probably be able to identify several such experiences in your own life.

This is beautiful. This is the ideal of waiting for clarity because sometimes the universe and the laws of nature can organize the fulfillment of our desires far better than we can even imagine. Wouldn’t it be cool if your whole life could be aligned with the principle of least action so that everything in your life was like that? Have the desire, let it go and watch the universe bring it about? Now, don’t get me wrong here, sometimes the laws of nature need to be acting through your body, mind and personality in order to bring about the fulfillment of your desires. But when this is happening you are truly in the Zone. Everything that you do feels like you aren’t even doing it. Your feel as if you are watching it happen and you are just along for the ride. Pretty much everyone has had that kind of experience either in sports or in some other area of life.

So the way to align yourself with the principle of least action is to follow these three steps. Again in brief they are:

As you practice this (and you can start right away) you will start to notice that as you wait for the clarity often times it will become obvious that it wasn’t such a good idea after all and you will save yourself tons of time and energy and money that you didn’t waste on chasing after something that was only an emotional impulse and not something that would really bring you the fulfillment that you seek.

Another thing that will happen is that you will start to notice that sometimes the longer you wait, if it is something that you thought you were going to have to “do”, more and more of it will get organized by nature. This is because when you are aligned with what is truly right for you, then you are naturally in sync with the law of least effort. Lots of times things will simply take care of themselves much like the experience of having a desire and having the laws of nature organize the whole thing for you. You might call it doing less and accomplishing more. Or even, doing nothing and accomplishing everything!

“Waiting for Clarity” is one of five unique experiential techniques that we teach people in Core Dynamics Coach Training. The technique of “Unplugging” that I mentioned in the second step in the process of avoiding making an impulsive decision is another one of these five techniques. You can also learn how to use this “unplugging” technique to dismantle any unwanted habits that you have had difficulty in changing in the past. All five of these new experiential coaching techniques are taught in the Core Dynamics seminar which is now available on audio CD by special arrangement with Solution Box. Learning these techniques to enrich your own life and remove the limiting influences that are the barriers to having the life that you truly want is a wonderful and very important part of learning Core Dynamics Coaching. After all, how can you really coach people in having a great life unless you are having one yourself?

Thomas Leonard was that founder of Coach U, Coachville and the International Federation of Coaches. He is considered by many as the “father” of the whole coaching industry. I had the pleasure and honor of being Thomas Leonard’s personal coach for the last few months of his life. One thing that Thomas and I discussed and agreed upon was the importance of the role of personal development for coaches. Great coaching comes out of great people much more so than by learning a bunch of coaching techniques. It is far more important who you are being than what coaching techniques you know. So while you are learning about coaching, learn how to get your own life together by learning and practicing the five Core Dynamics personal development techniques. (I now call them the Five Pure Awareness Techniques). They are some of the most simple and profound techniques that I have learned in my life. And they are also some of the most powerful tools you can teach your clients too.

One last suggestion – One thing not to wait too long to do is to start putting the practice of waiting for clarity to work in your life!

Enjoy,

Tom Stone
Founder – Great Life Technologies, LLC

About the Author:
Tom Stone is the founder of Great Life Technologies and is an expert in the application of biophysics and changing patterns of energy in the human body. Tom is pioneering the new field of Human Software Engineering.

Copyright:
© Copyright 2006, Great Life Technologies. All rights reserved.

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